conviction

So it's been a week here in the U.P.

The drive went smoothly on Saturday and I have been unpacking/filling out job applications this past week.

I think I've been delaying this post a bit because every time I get the urge to write something down, it's a complaint about something my stepbrothers did that irked me or some criticism of how things are run here.

But it seems this is only highlighting my own human failings- pride, selfishness, etc...

It's definitely strange moving from autonomy to dependence on others.

But on the other hand, I can't imagine it's easy on my stepbrothers or parents to have an additional person in the house. They're losing their guestroom, the boys have a girl in the house (who isn't their mother),

and it seems in this first week - that all decisions about who can have friends over- and when- and what constitutes 'behaving properly' fall to my final call.

That being said-- I think the challenge that has become clear to me in this past week is entirely about conviction. Not only in following my calling and vision for the future-- but in the everyday details.

How convicted am I about the 17-yr old drinking alcohol with his friends? In AA, it was clearly wrong. wrong enough that I avoided drinking around younger people. Here, it's socially quite common, if not expected and accepted. And honestly, if people are acting responsibly, I don't seem to have much of a problem with it.

But then again, no matter how responsible a person is (and I have to admit- it only takes one irresponsible person to cause major damage) a law is a law isn't it??

So how hard am I on this particular case? Because if he were to ask-- I'd say yes, my 21st bday was not the first time I tried alcohol. but no, I don't think he should be doing it.

It's a slippery slope-- I make personal choices-- do I impose them on others (who do not believe the same things I do?) Is following the letter of the law more important than building a trusting and open relationship with family members?

Though I've never been a go-with-the-flow kind of person, I've always tried to avoid making waves.

I think this is going to be one of those long term lessons-- holding to conviction and making it known.

Unpacking

So it's been nearly a week here in the U.P.

I'm still unpacking a bit-- mostly finding room for the random things at the moment. And realizing how many random 'things' there are.

It's interesting, going through the boxes and totes, to realize how much of the stuff I've been carrying with me are memorabilia from the past. (and how much of it is straight up junk)

My dad is selling his old house so all of the games and holiday decorations and pictures are now piled up in the basement storage.

Combine that with the inevitable edition of kids toys, photo albums, MORE decorations, and other childhood memories that will eventually be moved out of my stepdad's home (as he is now married and retired and the house is nearly out of space despite only two people living there) ....and I am beginning to see what a lifetime looks like by material standards.

But that isn't really what I meant to talk about.

Home at last-- Saturday evening :)














There (was) a bug on the wall. I tried to get a close up, but my camera skills are weaksauce. The weird bug was weird-- even in my stepmother had never seen it before. Sadly, weird bug is no more.


and on the subject of bugs-- I'm going to have to start wearing long pants (as opposed to skirts) for awhile. Perhaps the bugs don't recognize me as a local yet because they've turned the back of my legs into a snack bar. I think there are at least 10 bites on me at the moment-- in various stages of healing.