conviction

So it's been a week here in the U.P.

The drive went smoothly on Saturday and I have been unpacking/filling out job applications this past week.

I think I've been delaying this post a bit because every time I get the urge to write something down, it's a complaint about something my stepbrothers did that irked me or some criticism of how things are run here.

But it seems this is only highlighting my own human failings- pride, selfishness, etc...

It's definitely strange moving from autonomy to dependence on others.

But on the other hand, I can't imagine it's easy on my stepbrothers or parents to have an additional person in the house. They're losing their guestroom, the boys have a girl in the house (who isn't their mother),

and it seems in this first week - that all decisions about who can have friends over- and when- and what constitutes 'behaving properly' fall to my final call.

That being said-- I think the challenge that has become clear to me in this past week is entirely about conviction. Not only in following my calling and vision for the future-- but in the everyday details.

How convicted am I about the 17-yr old drinking alcohol with his friends? In AA, it was clearly wrong. wrong enough that I avoided drinking around younger people. Here, it's socially quite common, if not expected and accepted. And honestly, if people are acting responsibly, I don't seem to have much of a problem with it.

But then again, no matter how responsible a person is (and I have to admit- it only takes one irresponsible person to cause major damage) a law is a law isn't it??

So how hard am I on this particular case? Because if he were to ask-- I'd say yes, my 21st bday was not the first time I tried alcohol. but no, I don't think he should be doing it.

It's a slippery slope-- I make personal choices-- do I impose them on others (who do not believe the same things I do?) Is following the letter of the law more important than building a trusting and open relationship with family members?

Though I've never been a go-with-the-flow kind of person, I've always tried to avoid making waves.

I think this is going to be one of those long term lessons-- holding to conviction and making it known.